Retarded Poker Sites

word type: noun

  1. Poker

Proof of Retardedness

Poker blogger John Tabatabai noted that would not allow him to change his password. Not only does that functionality not exist in 888's poker client, it also wasn't allowed even when he contacted their live support. The live support agent further confirmed Tabatabai's suspicions of retardedness when she proceeded to completely misunderstand everything he said for the rest of the live chat.

The full chat log is below:

Derlyn R. has joined.
DeSecret: how do i change password? cant find option anywhere
Derlyn R.: Welcome to 888 Live Chat! We are glad to be of service. Whilst I try to locate your Pacific Poker account with your given email address, please confirm the first 2 characters of your password.
DeSecret: **
Derlyn R.: Thank you for providing the requested details.
DeSecret: im on my account !! lol. can you please just tell me where / how to change my password
Derlyn R.: why would you like to change your password?
DeSecret: are you serious?
DeSecret: because i am paranoid and had accout hacked into before, i change all my passwords regularly
Derlyn R.: Please hold while I get your records
DeSecret: lol
DeSecret: are you serious? You need to get hold of my records to tell me how to change my password?
DeSecret: Hello ?
DeSecret: Are you asking your supervisor if i am allowed to change my password?
Derlyn R.: unfortunately only in extreme cases we change members password you do not have the option to do so that is the reason that I asked the question Reza
Derlyn R.: please note that i do not see any records of your password ever been changed
DeSecret: I am going to say this as politely as possible. This is without a doubt, the WORST site EVER in the world. I play on nearly and have played on every site since 7 years ago. Even sites with no cards were better than this.
DeSecret: Firstly I can't withdraw more than $10k a month, now you tell me I can't change my password?
DeSecret: Your reason being that i never asked for password change before? Please, for the sake of my sanity tell me this is a joke. Do you guys wonder why hardly anyone plays here? It is an example of idiocy at its highest. A poker site where you expect people to keep tens of thousands of dollars with no security??
DeSecret: Hello?
Derlyn R.: I am really sorry that you feel this way but unfortunately unless it is not an extreme case we would not be able to change your password
DeSecret: I don't think it is possible for me to explain how shocked i am by the stupidty and lack of foresight of this site. Does 888 want to go bust?
DeSecret: Please transfer me to a manager. You must be kidding with me, it is impossible for a site to not have a private password changing facility.
DeSecret: Hello?
Derlyn R.: unfortunately you would have to call in order to speak to a manager the toll free is 800-032-9873
DeSecret: I live in UK, no such thing as toll free for me.
Derlyn R.: can I be of further assistance to you at this time?
DeSecret: Let me summarise my experience with 666. Sorry i mean 888. It takes me approximately 2 weeks to deposit $500. It then takes 2 phone calls and several emails + 1 week to withdraw $10,000 which you could only send to a credit card which makes no sense and I still haven't received that (over 2 weeks). Now you tell me I can't change my password and have to leave my account susceptible to hacking?
DeSecret: Is that a fair summary would you say?
DeSecret: Hello?
Derlyn R.: would you like me to call you?
DeSecret: Would we be able to change password over phone?
DeSecret: I would of course feel much better doing it privately online over an SSL connection.
Derlyn R.: we can try to resolve this matter over the phone
DeSecret: I knew it! This was a joke. Sure feel free to ring me and let's change password straight away.
Derlyn R.: One moment please...
Derlyn R.: please send an email to support explaining the reason as to why you would like your account to be closed and please send the email from the email address that you have registered the account from
DeSecret: LOL When did I say i want my account to be closed?
DeSecret: Am i on an online version of Punk'd?
DeSecret: I have to be honest, i would be more entertained if it wasn't 1.30am. I am quite tired and would like to sleep. Will i get some sort of prize or bonus for taking part in this farce?
Derlyn R.: I am just trying to assist you in this matter i have not disrespect you so I do expect the same courtesy to be extended to me.
Derlyn R.: please send an email to support and this matter will be dealt with accordingly.
DeSecret: My apologies, I did not mean to offend you, although I am surprised you interpreted those statements correctly. It would be of great benefit if you could interpret "how do i change password" as one would imagine, not as "can i please close my account"
DeSecret: Hello?
Derlyn R.: One moment please...
Derlyn R.: as i stated before we do not change our members password unless it is not an extreme case. you said that it had been hacked into, please send an email to support so that it may be dealt with
DeSecret: I use to be a very angry person, but lately I have taken classes and you could say I am reformed. I rarely get tilted, I had some sick beats this morning and was down 12,000 euros at one point which is a lot of money to me. I didn't get angry at that. However, you are turning me from laughing into frustrated. A rare thing to accomplish, however you are well on your way.
DeSecret: Allow me to paraphrase Derlyn, I wish to change my password, like any security conscious poker player who keeps large sums of money online. For safety. I have had accounts hacked in the past, as a result I am now cautious and change my passwords regularly. I am now having this somewhat redundant yet humorous conversation with you to achieve that simple goal.
DeSecret: This surely can't be difficult to understand and surely you have had other players request password changes.
Derlyn R.: in this matter please be advise that you would have to send an email to support explaining to them that you would like to have your password changed and please send the email from the email address that you have registers with
DeSecret: Please tell me, am I being unreasonable in requesting a simple, private password change over an SSL connection?
Derlyn R.: as I would not be able to further assist I will be exiting this chat.
DeSecret: wait
DeSecret: one last question
DeSecret: before you leave
Derlyn R.: sure
DeSecret: Do you play poker? If so would you like to play some heads up?
Derlyn R.: no i do not
Derlyn R.: have a very good day
DeSecret: what address do i email
DeSecret: Thanks for your help and expertise in resolving this complex issue.
Derlyn R.: [email protected]
Derlyn R.: You are very welcome! Please do not hesitate to contact us again whenever you need further assistance!
Derlyn R.: You are very welcome!
DeSecret: That is obviously a joke right?
Derlyn R.: It was a pleasure assisting you.

(John Tabatabai Blog)

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